How to Protect Your Home in a Zombie Invasion

Admit it: The zombie apocalypse is inevitable. Here’s a step-by-step guide to keeping the undead out of your houseBy ThisOldHouse.com

We See Dead People


Whether it’s because the (new, rescheduled!) endtimes are here (thank you, Mayans!), or just because TV shows, movies, and books are telling us so, a zombie world takeover is inevitable.

So how can you protect your home and your family from the encroaching hordes of the undead? This Old House‘s tips and techniques will help you stave off all manner of zombies—be they fast, slow, or riddled with rigor mortis.

Install Doors of the Dead


When dealing with old-school, Night of the Living Dead-type zombies (also known as “Romero zombies,” after that 1968 film’s director) keep in mind that, because rapid muscle deterioration is par for the postmortem course, these guys are weaker than Keith Richards on a bad day. One of the simplest ways to combat them is to retrofit your house with stainless-steel doors. Affordable and impenetrable, steel doors can be a living-dead dude’s worst enemy. Best of all, any dents or dings caused by your heathen invaders can be pulled and puttied with an auto-body repair kit. For added security, forgo sidelights or transoms and install triple-point locks. Zombies friggin’ hate triple-point locks.

Make Sure Windows Are Also Walking-Dead-Proof


While the Winchester Pub seemed like the perfect safe house in 2004’s Shaun of the Dead, it didn’t take more than a few broken windows to cause one buzzkill of a safety breach. Houses with tempered-glass windows rated for hurricane zones or with wrought-iron security bars will be far better off than those with unguarded single-pane windows. Either way, it’s never a bad idea to reinforce windows with plywood for maximum zombie protection.

Remember: Good Fences = Good Zombie Neighbors


Along with Pittsburgh’s three rivers, the only thing that protected the living from the undead in George Romero’s 2005 film, Land of the Dead, was a giant electric fence. Well, if it’s good enough for the Iron City, it’s good enough for your house, too. If you can’t afford an electric fence, consider building a tough, tall chain-link, wrought-iron, or cinderblock version (at least 8 to 12 feet high) around your property. The local zoning board might take offense, but, seriously, man—this is a zombie invasion! Who cares about zoning?

Move Upstairs and Dismantle Your Staircase


Unless you’re dealing with those rare, agile zombies of the 28 Days Later variety, anyone who lives in a two-story house has a better-than-average chance of survival. Most zombies are pathetic climbers, so eluding them means little more than moving upstairs and removing your staircase. Faced with a zombie invasion, many frantic homeowners freak out, mindlessly smashing their staircases with a sledgehammer. However, the more preservation-minded among us prefer dismantling and storing them until the invasion is over. Start by unscrewing the newel posts and banisters, then use a flat crowbar to gently pull up the treads and risers. Temporary access in and out of your house can be provided by either a portable fire ladder or a rope. Those living in one-story houses should take to the attic, then pull up the retractable ladder. Anyone unfortunate enough not to have an attic might have to wait out the invasion on the roof until the undead are returned to the hellmouth from whence they came—or rescue crews arrive.

Think of Your Toolbox as a Weapon of Mass Destruction


As Woody Harrelson’s gun-toting Tallahassee taught us in the 2009 blockbuster Zombieland, a sharp set of hedge clippers can lop a zombie’s head off, no problem. But there are plenty of other zombie-zapping alternatives right in your workshop or garage. As a rule of thumb, the best way to kill a zombie is to destroy its brain. So your best line of defense is a blunt tool equipped with a long handle, such as an ax or a tire iron. The latter is especially helpful, since it can also be jabbed into the zombie’s eye socket, gouging its brain. Shovels serve a dual purpose as a blunt weapon and a means of properly burying dead zombies once they’ve (finally) met their maker.

Nix the Power Tools


Countless Hollywood horror flicks have demonstrated the efficiency of chain saws when it comes to raw killing power. But unless you have the upper body strength of the Hulk, one or two chainsaw-assisted beheadings will leave you with little more than flailing gummy-arms. In his best-selling book The Zombie Survival Guide, author Max Brooks points out that the noise of chain saws and other power tools might also alert nearby zombies to your presence. “A chain saw’s distinctive roar, even if running for just a few seconds, will be enough to broadcast to every zombie within earshot that ‘Dinner is served!'”

Strengthen Your Siding Against Cold, Dead Hands


Whether it’s Night of the Living Dead or Dead Set, anyone who’s watched enough zombie flicks or TV shows knows how incessantly they scratch and paw any house or building in which human flesh abounds. All that clawing can wreak havoc on clapboard Cape Cods or Colonial Revivals. For the best defense, we recommend a quality fiber-cement siding. While we were hard-pressed to find a manufacturer that guaranteed its product against a zombie invasion, it’s probably your best bet.

Create a Relaxing, Zombie-Free Zone


No matter how well protected you are, zombie invasions are stressful for the whole family. To combat the undead doldrums, dedicate part of your house to relaxation and entertainment. Like Shaun of the Dead, you can take refuge by building your very own bar. And be sure to stock up on board games for the kids (video games use up power and can alert zombies to your home). As Max Brooks says in The Zombie Survival Guide, “In a long and seemingly interminable siege, boredom can lead to paranoia, delusion and hopelessness. It is important to keep your mind in good shape.”

Stock Up for a Supernatural Disaster


The last thing you’ll want to do during a zombie invasion is go out to dinner. And since many of your neighborhood takeout guys will be worried about being eaten on the job, you’ll have to fend for yourself—as Will Smith’s character, Robert Neville, demonstrates in I Am Legend, the 2007 zombie/vampire apocalypse film. Treat a zombie invasion like you would any disaster by stocking up on nonperishable food, bottled water, and first-aid supplies. Since no one can ever know how long a zombie invasion will last, you’ll want to have at least a month’s worth on hand. Also, consider planting a vegetable garden close to your back door just in case your food runs out. If a zombie invasion is imminent, fill all bathtubs and sinks with water.

Keep a Low Profile


Another of the lessons Robert Neville learns in I Am Legend is to keep the curtains or shades drawn and not let the zombies know where you live. During a zombie invasion, it’s tempting to stand by your window and contemplate the end of life as we know it. But instead of a deep thinker embattling a crisis of faith, all the zombies will see is the human equivalent of a Whopper with cheese. Conceal yourself by using heavy curtains, blankets, or even steel plates to block any unboarded windows—and never turn the lights on, as it will alert famished zombies to your presence. Whenever you’re in need of light, use a small flashlight or, better yet, night goggles.

Assume the Local Utility Company’s Employees Have Been Eaten


Just like the Atlanta of the AMC television series The Walking Dead, zombie-infested cities seldom operate with any sort of efficiency. Often, when both essential and nonessential public servants are dead or have been zombified, basic services suffer. In case of a power outage, invest now in a gas-fueled generator—or, better yet, one that can be operated manually by a stationary bike. Since zombie invasions often lead to nervous stomachs, you’ll also want to make sure you have a toilet in good working order in case the water goes out. Line your toilet bowl with heavy-duty garbage bags. Then pour in some cat litter, fireplace ashes, or sawdust. When the coast is clear, bury your waste in the backyard so that any nearby zombies won’t detect it.

Shopping for a New House? Think “Zombie Invasion”


According to Max Brooks’s The Zombie Survival Guide, some houses are better than others when it comes to avoiding a full-scale zombie invasion. Those who live in the types of stilted houses found primarily in flood-prone areas are in luck, since, after you’ve dismantled your front steps, the zombies will have a heck of a time getting to you. Other houses built to withstand either hurricanes or tornadoes are often equipped with tempered-glass windows, steel shutters, and doors that are all but impenetrable by the undead.

Source: https://www.thisoldhouse.com/ideas/how-to-protect-your-home-zombie-invasion

Author: qceditor

Share This Post On


  1. What a great post! I spend a few moments on reading, and
    I’m so excited about the advice I obtained. It’s really tough to find something precious on that
    subject. However, this writer appears to be a real professional since there’s a exceptional personality in his writings.
    I’m likely to sign up for his brand new publications, just not to skip anything.
    This post worths its reading.

    Post a Reply
  2. In fact no matter if someone doesn’t know after that its up to other visitors that they will help, so here it occurs.

    Post a Reply
  3. I share your opinion for the large part, I think that some things are
    worth using a more thorough look to understand what’s going on.

    Post a Reply
  4. The more I see, the more the better your substance is.
    I have covered a lot of their other resources; however, only here, I have found legitimate information with such
    necessary facts to bear in mind. I suggest you’ll print
    articles with numerous topics to update our knowledge, mine in particular.

    Post a Reply
  5. Thank you for bringing up this issue. I looked for upto date advice on this theme
    for a few days, I discovered only https://www.facebook.com/pg/essayservicecom/reviews/. I’m fulfilled
    as I have finally reached this particular post. I just like the manner in which you contend and present the important points as well as your writing style.

    is short and concise, although sometimes, there is a shortage of time and energy
    to learn long bits, I spent only a short while to read the article.
    It’s essential since no one has time to read.

    Post a Reply
  6. Amazing, this post will be so impressive! I actually learned a great deal fresh, thank you
    for always bringing all of us valuable and important content.
    This is usually basically the only website I need to read like, ever.
    Apart from maybe https://www.allkpop.com/forum/members/steffen-lehrer.174546/, additionally they make an effort for the greatest.

    Post a Reply
  7. I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your sites really nice, keep it up!
    I’ll go ahead and bookmark your website to come back later on. Cheers

    Post a Reply
  8. Excellent items from you, man. I have take note your stuff previous to and you’re simply too excellent.
    I actually like what you’ve bought right here, certainly like what you
    are stating and the best way wherein you are saying it.
    You are making it enjoyable and you still take care of to keep it sensible.
    I can not wait to read much more from you. That is really a great website.

    Post a Reply
  9. When some one searches for his required thing, thus he/she wants to
    be available that in detail, thus that thing is maintained
    over here.

    Post a Reply
  10. Paragraph writing is also a fun, if you be familiar with then you can write if not it is difficult to write.

    Post a Reply
  11. If some one wants expert view about running a blog
    after that i advise him/her to pay a quick visit this website, Keep up the
    good job.

    Post a Reply
  12. Hello, yeah this article is genuinely good and I have learned lot of things from it concerning blogging.

    Post a Reply
  13. Woah! I’m really digging the template/theme
    of this site. It’s simple, yet effective. A lot of times it’s hard to get that
    “perfect balance” between user friendliness and visual appearance.
    I must say that you’ve done a fantastic job with this.
    Additionally, the blog loads extremely fast for me on Safari.
    Superb Blog!

    Post a Reply
  14. Hello, Neat post. There’s an issue together with your website in internet explorer, may test this?
    IE nonetheless is the marketplace leader and a big element of other people will miss your fantastic writing
    due to this problem.

    Post a Reply
  15. I will immediately grasp your rss feed as I
    can not find your email subscription link or newsletter service.
    Do you have any? Kindly permit me recognise so that I could subscribe.

    Post a Reply
  16. It’s appropriate time to make some plans for the longer term and it’s time to be happy.
    I have learn this publish and if I could I desire to suggest you few attention-grabbing
    issues or advice. Maybe you can write next articles
    relating to this article. I want to read
    even more issues approximately it!

    Post a Reply
  17. Excellent goods from you, man. I have understand your stuff previous to and you are
    just extremely fantastic. I actually like what you’ve acquired here, certainly like what you are stating and the way in which you say it.
    You make it entertaining and you still take care of to keep it wise.
    I cant wait to read far more from you. This is really a tremendous web site.

    Post a Reply
  18. We stumbled over here from a different page and thought I
    might check things out. I like what I see so now i’m following you.

    Look forward to checking out your web page again.

    Post a Reply
  19. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point.
    You definitely know what youre talking about, why
    throw away your intelligence on just posting videos to your weblog when you could be giving us something informative to read?

    Post a Reply

Submit a Comment

Your email address will not be published.

Call Now Button